Red Lions Chairman in new Match Fixing Scandal Probe

It’s the final week of this season’s CPL and there is one more game to play, which decides whether Da An or the Animals win the league. Da An need to win with a three goal margin against the Red Lions for the coveted prize to be theirs.

And fresh off last August’s scandal involving Red Lions chairman, Rob “Howler” Fowler and an unnamed Mighty Shane player, which has only just been paid off (surely “dismissed” – Ed) after a very alcoholic night at Carnegies by the League, another one surfaces. The Red Lions, once thought of as squeaky clean, now seem as corrupt as a Swiss banker, a Chinese politician, or a Canadian Formula One driver.

When confronted about the latest allegations, Fowler responded with a blunt and scathing reply.
“Insulting. It’s an absolute farking outrage,” he said. “Da An offered a mere pittance for us to lose and concede three. There is no way the Red Lions would ever consider accepting such corrupt bribes. Now, if they were prepared to negotiate and raise their offer slightly, that would be another matter completely…”

Gareth Williams, Supremo of the Da An team, also made a statement.

“Why should we change our offer from a pint of warm, flat beer, a packet of crisps and an unused condom?” he questioned. “The Lions have a defence with as many holes as Sunil’s underwear. So we’re bound to score loads. And their attack is toothless. No worries – the season’s in the bag!”

This coming Sunday, at 4PM will see history made. It will be the first time ever that the Animals have wanted the Lions to win. Or at least, not lose. Red Lions vs Da An. Da Zhi, Sunday at 4. The CPL Grand Finale. Be there!