The Red Lions romped their way to a second successive BML victory at
Da Jia on Sunday, romping home against a very poor Shin Kong, aka
Mitsupussy, team, despite playing over half the match with just 10
players.

The match started brightly for the Lions, Chancy “Oh Captain my
Captain” Cooke adopting an attacking 4-3-3 formation, with Ant and Kim
Sun Il at the back, flanked by Tetsu and Carl, one of the sweetest
midfield combinations of all time in Mirko, OG and Bryan in the centre,
with Gayer Rob and Jaime playing as wide attackers and Thomas “Please
Mao, would you find it inside your heart, for once, especially given the
fact that I intend to score a couple of goals today and not waste a
million chances like I did last weekend, promise, refrain from calling
me Dumbass” Costa up front. Mao, for just under 45 minutes at least, was
in goal.

Those fine, short passes that Chancy likes the Lions to play were
indeed finding their intended recipients, as Mitsupussy found it
difficult to come to terms with the Da Jia pitch and – perhaps also –
their trainer’s rather intriguing yet incomprehensible tactics. The fact
that the team has lost their two best players also did not help the
team that managed a victory and a draw against the Lions in the last BML
campaign.

OG, Bryan and Mirko combined beautifully on many occasions, OG
seemingly covering every blade of grass on the relative short and narrow
pitch within the first 5 minutes, keen to get the ball and lay off a
killer pass. Thomas, up front, was also looking more hungry than he did
last week, with Jaime laying off some nice passes to the Lions’
attacker, fighting for every ball, getting past his defender on more
than one occasion.

At the back, Tetsu was making some strong but extremely fair
challenges, Kim Sun Il and Ant playing a high defensive line that the
opponents found difficult to deal with.

In a show of their attacking intentions, Carl took a long throw in to
the Mitsupussy penalty area, causing danger and confusion inside the
opponents’ ranks, and the Lions were unlucky not to take advantage of
this. But it was just a foretaste of things to come for the opponents.

Bryan was getting stuck in, making some well timed tackles in the
middle of the park as Mitsupussy attempted to get the ball forward and
create some pressure on the Lions’ goal themselves, but as is often the
case, he was being fouled as soon as he had taken the ball off the
opponent. And from one of these fouls, the Lions took the lead. From
just inside the Mitsupussy half, OG floated a pin-point ball in to the
opponent’s penalty area for Bryan to rise like a soufflé and power a
header past the hapless keeper to make it 1-0 Lions.

Mitsupussy’s trainer decided that this was a good time for the
beginning of three first half substitutions, an interesting tactic
which, if it was designed to confuse the Lions somewhat, failed
miserably.

Shortly after it was 2-0 as once more the midfield trio combined
beautifully with Jaime, the pass finally putting Thomas “Please Mao,
would you find it inside your heart, for once, especially given the fact
that I intend to score a couple of goals today and not waste a million
chances like I did last weekend, promise, refrain from calling me
Dumbass” Costa through on goal for a one-on-one with the keeper. He
looked like he was about to blast it before thinking that perhaps your
humble chronicler would call him Dumbass once more in the next match
report, before changing his mind and slotting it home, the Lions in full
control of the match.

Mitsupussy was shell shocked by this, and made their second, and then
their third substitution, leaving them with a grand total of, errr…, no
more subs. They did, however, manage to put the Lions under a little
pressure, gaining a series of corners which were dealt with all too
easily by the Lions defence.

At the other end, the Lions corners all seemed to go wrong as well,
with Bryan and Jaime failing to deliver the ball in to the danger zone,
but it was not going to matter.

Another goal was on the cards, and it was duly delivered, again by
Thomas “Please Mao, would you find it inside your heart, for once,
especially given the fact that I intend to score a couple of goals today
and not waste a million chances like I did last weekend, promise,
refrain from calling me Dumbass” Costa after another pass weighted so
deliciously, it could have come straight from Chef Ramsey’s kitchen.

3-0 and it was game over.

But it wasn’t.

With the clock ticking down to half time, the Lions continued to
push, losing the ball with Tetsu a long way out of position, Mitsupussy
playing a long pass which, given his relatively short stature, flew
several inches over Kim Sun Il’s head, for the attacker to run on to. He
came in to the penalty area, played the ball past the Lions’ keeper who
maliciously took out the attacker, the ref having no alternative but to
blow for a penalty and send off the Lions keeper.

Mao, needless to say, did not like this decision much.

Jaime was placed in goal, Mao crouching behind the goal to try to
gauge where the penalty was going to be placed, Mr Liu and the referee
both telling Mao in no uncertain terms that he was expected to leave the
area behind the goal. Mao telling Mr Liu and the referee in no
uncertain terms that a yellow card would also have sufficed. Mr Liu
replying to this suggestion that Mao was, loosely translated of course,
having a fecking laugh. Probably knew that Mao would have saved the
ensuing penalty.

Mao told Jaime to dive to his left, so Jaime dived to his right, the
penalty duly delivered as Mao predicted, Mitsupussy pulling back a goal
right on the stroke of half time.

The second half onslaught from Mitsupussy failed to materialize, the
Lions’ opponents not playing smartly, not at all taking advantage of
their one-man advantage. Initially playing with a 4-3-2 formation,
Chancy changed it to a 4-4-1, with Thomas “Please Mao, would you find it
inside your heart, for once, especially given the fact that I intend to
score a couple of goals today and not waste a million chances like I
did last weekend, promise, refrain from calling me Dumbass” Costa the
lone attacker.

The first 15 minutes of the second half saw absolutely no action at
all. That is to say, your humble narrator saw absolutely no action
whatsoever, heading instead to the petrol station to buy the first of
his rounds for being sent off. However, I am also reliably informed that
Mitsupussy was as weak and lacking in ideas as they were for the
remainder of the game.

Jaime in goal was forced in to a dive at the feet of the oncoming
attacker after one through ball, showing Mao how to get the ball without
smacking the crap out of the attacker. He also took a cross nicely,
showing the soon-to-be-suspended keeper how to hold on to the ball.

Gayer Rob was brought off, replaced by Sergay, Panda was brought on
for Thomas “Please Mao, would you find it inside your heart, for once,
especially given the fact that I intend to score a couple of goals today
and not waste a million chances like I did last weekend, promise,
refrain from calling me Dumbass” Costa, Charles replacing Mirko, Clovis
replacing the empty can of beer in his hand with a fresh, full one,
quietly singing “Happy birthday to me” to himself.

As the match entered the last few minutes, it was the Lions who
looked more dangerous, with Panda deciding to lay off the ball to Bryan
instead of shooting, but still chasing down every ball. Sergay too put
his defender under immediate pressure, winning the ball in the right
hand corner, causing no end of trouble to the Mitsupussy players who
just had no answer to the sheer onslaught of power that the Lions were
enforcing upon their opponents.

And from that same area came the final nail in the Mitsupussy coffin,
Bryan – who had shortly before been shown a yellow card for a nothing
challenge – laying a low ball in to OG who swept the ball gracefully and
effortlessly past the keeper to make it 4-1.

The opponents now knew that they had been pussy whipped, the Lions
showing once and for all that they don’t need to have 11 men on the
pitch to be able to perform to their potential.

All players, with perhaps one exception, fought tooth and nail for
this priceless victory, which was totally deserved and which will no
doubt fill them with confidence for the game next weekend against the
reigning champions, Hong Min.